Instead...

Not too long ago, women depended on their mates for survival, and this dictated certain relationship dynamics (which happened to support the socioeconomic and religious status quo). But the world has changed, and so have our needs within relationships. Many women are looking for someone who gets us. Whose lifestyle, personality, values, goals, intellect, humor and physical stamina are compatible and complementary to our own. Alone, we’ve learned, evolved, cultivated self-awareness, raised children, realized dreams, traveled, built careers. Often, an open, loving, solid and noncompetitive man fits that bill.

I need a man strong enough to handle me, to love me.

Many men grew up with mixed messages of the in-your-face feminism of the late 60’s and 70’s: Traditional values said a man must provide, while modern society suggested that any sign of masculine energy – inherent male qualities like strength, aggressiveness, assertiveness – was bad. The result? Some men don’t know how to be men, suppressing their instincts and becoming either controlling and dominant, or submissive and repressed. Instead of taking the time to get to know who I really am and without the expectation that every coupling has to conform to specific societal ideas of what is “good for us”, because often it’s not.

Take away all of that and the pressure disappears. Instead? Fun. Trust. Hot sex. Laughter. Adventure. Energy. Mental, emotional and physical stimulation. And with the right one, something deeper and more meaningful. Best of all is the mutual acceptance, ease and respect that come with enjoying people for who they are being open to true human connection in whatever form it happens to take.